…And tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 2-0-0-and-0

MEET THE METS,
MEET THE METS,
Step right up and greet the Mets!
Bring your kiddies,
bring your wife;
Guaranteed to have the time of your life
because the Mets are really sockin’ the ball; knocking those home runs over the wall!
East side,
West side,
everybody’d coming down
to meet the M-E-T-S Mets of New York town!

Oh, the butcher and the baker and the people on the streets,
where did they go? To MEET THE METS!
Oh, they’re hollerin’ and cheerin’ and they’re jumpin’ in their seats,
where did they go? To MEET THE METS!
All the fans are true to the orange and blue,
so hurry up and come on down -
‘cause we’ve got ourselves a ball club,
The Mets of New York town!
Give ‘em a yell!
Give ‘em a hand!
And let ‘em know your rootin’ in the stand!

NLDS CHECK, NLCS HERE WE COME–CONGRATULATIONS

M-E-T-S METS METS METS

To be incredibly bias, I would like to take a second to wish the Mets the utmost of luck toward shutting out the Dodgers in tonight’s NLDS Game 3. The jaw-dropping yet tremendous series of losses by the Yankees provides only one more reason to close this series out. Any negative energies emanating from the Bronx have since dissipated, and I am quite confident that the men of Flushing, Queens will prevail. I was at Shea for Game 2 Thursday night, which was quite a sight to behold…what a sick time. Nothing better than getting wasted, losing your voice, and winning the 2nd in a row, especially when hope was starting to falter from even the most diehard of fans. This has been quite a season, but the Mets have proven time and again how setbacks can be turned into possibilities. Continue to kick adversity in the ass, cause as you guys continue to demonstrate, it ‘aint got nothin’ on ya.

In case you know not of the adversity I speak of, take a little gander at an abbreviated list of what the Mets endured this 2006 season:

Postseason:

Pedro Martinez Out with a torn left calf.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Pedro was also diagnosed with a torn right rotator cuff and is expected to be
sidelined for up to 8 months.

Orlando Hernandez Likely out for entire postseason with a torn calf.

Regular Season & Preseason:

9/5/06 Steve Schmoll Placed on the 60-day disabled list with a right hamstring injury.
8/24/06 Duaner Sanchez Transferred from the 15-day to the 60-day disabled list.
Ramon Castro Transferred from the 15-day to the 60-day disabled list.
8/16/06 Pedro Martinez Placed on the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to Aug. 15, with a mild right calf strain.
8/9/06 Cliff Floyd Placed on the 15-day disabled list with tendinitis in his left Achilles.
8/4/06 Ramon Castro Placed on the 15-day disabled list with a strained left oblique.
7/31/06 Duaner Sanchez Placed on the 15-day disabled list with a dislocated right shoulder.
7/6/06 Pedro Martinez Placed on the 15-day disabled list with inflammation in his right hip, retroactive to June 29.
6/18/06 Cliff Floyd Placed on the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to June 7, with a sprained left ankle.
5/30/06 Brian Bannister Transferred from the 15-day to the 60-day disabled list.
Xavier Nady Placed on the 15-day disabled list following an appendectomy.
5/13/06 Bartolome Fortunato Transferred to the 60-day disabled list.
5/7/06 Victor Zambrano Placed on the 60-day disabled list with a torn flexor tendon in his right elbow.
5/6/06 John Maine Placed on the 15-day disabled list with a sore right middle finger.
4/28/06 Brian Bannister Placed on the 15-day disabled list with a strained right hamstring.
4/19/06 Anderson Hernandez Placed on the 15-day disabled list with a bulging disc in his lower back.
3/23/06 Juan Padilla Placed on the 60-day disabled list.

Despite all of this, the Mets have still managed to come away with 97 wins, giving them the best record in the NL (97-65, .599), tied for the best record in the whole Major League 2006 season. This really is a true testament to their uncanny-brotherly cohesiveness, which was certainly a major factor towards getting them to where they are tonight (not to mention the ridiculous lineups). Go get ‘em.

YES ifs, ands, or buts!

Just a quick thought I had: This blog allows the true and non-scholastically conformed writer within me to emerge. And I just wanted to share with you guys how much I truly love being able to start sentences with “if,” “and,” or “but,” without having to hear nothing from nobody. (Yeah, that’s right…triple-negatives too.) But not only do I love the liberty that comes along with this little project of mine, I also love lamp. If only my AP English teacher could see me now…Take THAT Mrs. Chowske. B- my ass.

Would you like some (REALLY HAPPY) fries with that (REALLY) Happymeal?

Man oh man. Fucking Martha’s. It’s really enough already. Those employees are so cracked out on some crazy concoction of speed and happy pills, that they somehow manage to exude the traits of a creepy bygone RL Stine classic (ha – I’m so well-read) and a whacky SNL skit…all at the same time. What I’m ranting about is that eerily joyful (yet annoying) locale situated in the MVR basement – Martha’s Restaurant and its staff.

Now, everyone encounters the overly happy complete-stranger every once in a while (you know who I’m talking about – when someone you just meet is so nice to you that your paranoid brain tells you to mistrust them.) But, you deal with the awkwardness and sometimes can even accept it. Well, this is not just A complete stranger guys; there are about six loony-bin strangers that must be dealt with at Martha’s. These workers coagulate their elation-about-nothing into such a concentrated Jello mold of joy, if you will, that one little taste is enough to make you feel comparatively depressed. Who needs that at lunchtime…or ever?

Though they’re hard at work making lunch, they sing, they dance, and the intolerably effeminate manager will only give you your sandwich if you scream “‘Woohoo!’ with ‘guth-toe’” (that’s “gusto,” in non-effeminate-ish) upon its completion. [Just a side note: I’ve managed to escape that one so far, so don’t come stalk me on my lunch break expecting a good laugh at my expense.] And that ‘aint all folks! For instance, the new cashier “Margie,” whose obese stature and unsightly countenance would make her a sure candidate for Prozac in any other environment than Martha’s…well…even she’s happy! Fucking happier than me! Oh yeah, and when this other dude makes you your sandwich or salad, it’s not just any sandwich or salad, it’s a “‘beautiful’ sandwich with a side of ‘beautiful’ day,” and a “‘beautiful’ salad for a ‘beautiful’ girl.” PERSONIFYING FOOD IS NOT FUNNY, ASSHOLE. It’s stupid and weird.

Now, you may be thinking, “If they piss you off so much, why the hell do you keep going back?” Well, simply put, I love food. And they make some pretty fucking tasty food. In fact, if they didn’t make such a goddamn yummy tuna sandwich (see, I’m tying together that whole lunch and tuna thing now – [see Post 1]), I would do everything in my power to make them close shop. They do, though, so for now, I’ll continue to let my passion for eating give me the energy to put up with their uncanny overzealousness for making us lunch.

Bottom line: I don’t think that this little rant did this situation much justice. You really must experience the insanity for yourself to believe it and comprehend its full extent. So if you haven’t yet paid a visit to this eatery to sample its delectable cuisine, you really must check it out to witness its whack-ass employees in action. It’ll definitely provide you with the ingredients for a good laugh initially, but beware Macbeth, as something rotten this way comes. Don’t linger too long, as I can guarantee the novelty will quickly fade…and the gorges are just way too close by. HAVE A BEAUTIFUL TUESDAY!